Monday, February 4, 2013

Super Bowl Realization

I don't know what came over me today.  Perhaps it was the fact that it was the two year anniversary of my accident or just the fact that I looked into my loving husband's eyes again. 
But it never ceases to amaze me how awesome our God is.

It is strange but today, for some reason I was overwhelmed and I do not have any idea why. 

Many people, including some of my siblings and close family have no ide what my husband and kids went through but when I had my head injury two years ago, I was ok, from what I can remember, but the grief I put them through sounds horrible.

I think what set me off  was last night.  We were watching the Super Bowl and when the lights went out in the stadium I stated, "I am glad you are not there working it!" because I knew he had worked it when we were first married in Tampa!"  I had completely forgotten he was also in another one in Miami and that he had done lights for that show.

Family At CrossUsually I regained my memory from Facebook and the computer.  You see, I lost much of my memory from the head injury and attempted to "re-gain" or "re-memorize" it from what I could find on the computer files.

It was the most eery experience I had ever encountered because my kids were now "all grown up". However, it was extremely difficult for them to see me in this situation.  At times, it even angered them. 
My husband,oh,my husband...what can I say...He became the most ideal husband ever. I fell in love with him all over again.  We began to "date" and he even "re-proposed". It was quite romantic.  However, in reading things on my emails and journals, not everything I read was great.  Also, as I read things, some memories would "flash" back.

I remember one in particular.  I thought I will never be able to forgive him for this but I fell to my knees and prayed as I had been so much since my injury.  I didn't confront him immediately but when I did, the Holy Spirit was there.

Our first Love Like You Mean It Cruise was only weeks after my accident and we had a Weekend to Remember only months after which helped with my healing.  God allowed me to forgive my husband's past and strangely my injury was almost a blessing for us.  We came together as a family and as a couple.  Our kids showed compassion and empathy and my husband, to this day is showing an amazing love towards me.  For me, it has taught me to forgive and a newfound love,respect and appreciation towards my husband.  Of course, we realize it all has come only from our Lord and Saviour and that He was able to allow us to wipe our slates clean but I thank Him every day for my spouse and my kids as well as the tools that He gave us through FamilyLife.

Today, I do not always admit that I do not recall my past but I guess that is a blessing since I should only be looking at what is ahead anyway,right?

We feel privileged to now be in a place to be telling our story to other couple and families in the hope that they too will be encouraged by it and attend a FamilyLife event.

Debra Betolatti

Saturday, February 2, 2013

State Of Marriage

So, how is "Joe" doing? Haven't seen you guys in forever.
"Well,as a matter of fact, you will be seeing just me on this visit...We divorced a few years ago." This conversation seems to be am too familiar one.
I have to say though, we were not far from being the couple saying it. If it had not been for the awesome power of the Cross and the tools He brought to us through FamilyLife and the Weekend To Remember I do not know if I could be telling you that we are a happily married couple but thankfully I am telling you this. We will be celebrating 24 years of marriage this year and we are so blessed.

Every day I thank God for my spouse and though a few years ago I would think it would be impossible to say this, I can now truly and honestly say, "I am even grateful for the challenges we went through and had to overcome because they made us really fall to our knees and reach out to our Father." Today, I love my husband every day even more than the day before and I realize today that I now know the meaning of love when before I only understood the meaning of the feeling of love. We have taught our children that love is not a feeling but a commitment and a promise and it starts with our relationship with our Father and like Gary Thomas explains in his book, Sacred Marriage, when I look at my husband I must remember that his father is God and he must remember that my father is God. That revelation was very helpful to my husband. How often have we heard comments regarding our baggage coming into play into our new marriage? Here are just a few I can think of:
  • To a girl- " You will end up being your mom!"
  • To a man- "Look at your mother in law-that will be your wife!"
  • To a girl- "Are his parents divorced? If so- yours will end up in divorce!"
  • To a girl- " Did his dad ever cheat? He will too,you know?"
  • To a boy- "You can't escape your dad's sins.  You  will repeat them!"
  • To a girl- "You will end up marrying a guy just like your dad!"
Well, I am a pretty lucky girl since I do have a pretty great earthly dad. My dad tolerated 7 of us kids and was married to my beautiful mom for almost 45 years before she passed away and he did love her and I still remember the last look he gave gave her while she was still alert.  He even wrote a song for her and had his Broadway Opera Singer Brother sing it at the funeral.  But even my earthly loving dad made mistakes and does not compare to my Heavenly Father and thankfully my earthly dad taught me that. 

Unfortunately, many others are not as fortunate to have that great role model including my own husband which is why having that earthly imbalance can create issues.  Issues that could create irreparable damage.  Thankfully, knowing we both have the same  Heavenly Father evens the field.  Having the ability to go to getaways like Weekend To Remember or even a fun event like the Love Like You Mean It Cruise or Art of Marriage has made our married life even better.

I am so glad we have the opportunity to share these events with others and be part of leadership team.  We want to encourage you to never give up.  Even when you think it is over, PRAY.  Do not let divorce ever be an option.  Let that be the 4 letter option in your vocabulary.  Let me tell you that our marriage is better than it has ever been.  Our family has been blessed because God has blessed our marriage and rekindled our love.http://shop.familylife.com/events_1.aspx?categoryid=97&groupName=NorthGeorgiaTeam